Officially 34...and THE DOG DAYS ARE OVER!!!
Moments ago my thirty-fourth birthday officially ended. I was born a bicentennial baby on November 16th. I've had a pretty darn good life thus far. I'm truly blessed and am so thankful for so many things. I must say the many years of amazing themed birthday parties filled with games, friends, and family have led me to have some amazing birthday memories. One of the best birthdays I can recall was when I turned seven years old. I had an amazing Strawberry Shortcake themed birthday party complete with themed paper products and cake. But the memories surround the house full of my friends who were neighbors, family, and classmates. My Mom always has done an amazing job at party planning (she's truly genius in her creativity) and never missed a beat with my parties. Now-a-days kids have ponies and bounce houses, DJs and limos, but for me my best memories were the good ole' birthday parties at my house. My family was never wealthy, so we didn't have parties at the skating rink or local mini golf place, but I'm glad. I don't remember any of the gifts I got and don't remember the games I played, but I remember the laughter and fun with all my friends and how amazing my parents made my birthday. I'm forever thankful for the sacrifices they made to give me some great childhood memories.
So, today my friend asked me, "So how does it feel to be thirty-four?" and I replied, "I'm not sure, I don't feel any different." I think back to when I was younger and the thirties seemed so far away and people in their thirties seemed so ancient and "lame". So upon further thought I've been thinking that in fact, I like my thirties. I'm definitely not where I thought I'd be, but surprisingly I'm fine with it. The eighteen-year-old version of myself thought that by my thirties I'd surely be successful and well educated with tons of life experiences. I thought I'd be married to a dashing Englishman with some kind of pedigree and we'd be happily married with beautiful children, an amazing house, and tons of money in the bank. I'd be living far from my small town in Central California and never ever look back. Flash Forward to sixteen years later: In many ways none of this stuff didn't come to pass, in fact none of it did. However at this point in my life I'm okay with it and think I'm all the better for it. Life always throws us some unexpected trials and experiences which eventually lead to mold us into who and what we become. So although things aren't tied nicely into a perfect little life package, I'm learning to love myself and appreciate the experiences that have led me become the woman I am. My place in life right now allows for unlimited possibilities and I'm anticipating for God to bring about great things. I now also know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm living my life for ME and plan on doing all the things that I never got around to doing because I was too busy looking for a man to make my dreams come true. So I've taken over that job and anticipate to make my dreams come true (along with God's help)!!! I must say that my thirty-third year had several huge life changes and for someone who had FEAR as a constant companion for too many years I made huge steps forward.
ACCOMPLISHED in my thirty-third year (2010) ;
1. In January I resigned from a good paying job as a tenured Teacher, which I wasn't happy doing.
2. In February I moved from my small town in Central California to Los Angeles (not knowing anyone but my roommate whom I met through Facebook) to begin pursuing my dream to work in the film industry
3. In February I moved out on my own for the first time EVER in my life. I went from living with parents to living with a husband so I had my first experience of living with roommates, which was great!
4. In March I had my first audition EVER, I had an interview with a casting director and had a monologue filmed. HUGE deal for me, tons of self-confidence was washed away during my marriage, and I decided to not be afraid of anything and just go for what I want.
5. In April my divorce to the man I married in 2001 was finalized
6. The end of April/beginning of May a lifelong dream of mine was accomplished. I visited Ireland and England for the first time ever and thus began my love for international travel.
7. In May I realized that England is where my heart is and have decided to try to make that my permanent home. It was so strange to visit a place for the first time, but having the feeling like I'd been there before and was literally more comfortable there than any other place I've lived in my life. I had a difficult time leaving and have been homesick ever since. My heart belongs to England, I'll be there soon again.
8. In June I had my first audition for a role in an independent film. I have no formal training, but heard about it through a local casting agency and went in and did a cold read for the Director of the film, the Producer, and the Casting Director. Loved it and can't wait to do it again. I officially caught the acting bug.
9. In July I sought out a way to work with horses again and began to volunteer with a horse trainer who began to teach me how to train horses and also gave me some more riding lessons. One of my goals is to continue to learn to ride English and compete in a Equestrian show someday.
10. In August I went back to school this time taking an Acting class and a Filmmaking class. This is honestly the first time I've ever enjoyed going to school.
11. In September I did my first solo acting project for my Acting class and to my surprise, I felt completely comfortable being completely vunerable and raw in front of a whole class of onlookers. 12. In October I wrote my first small screenplay for my filmmaking class and loved it.
13. In November I did my first scene with a partner and didn't let nerves get the best of me, rocked the scene, and enjoyed every minute of the adrenline rush I experienced while performing in front of an audience.
14. In November I finally began to write a blog, something I've put off for far too long.
Many of these accomplishments were done as a way for me to get over FEAR and do things that were totally out of my comfort zone, I'm proud of myself for kicking FEAR in the ass and stepping out . I did do great things and made a rediculously long list of things I wanted to do in 2010, and hardly made a dent in them, but I'm shooting to accomplish many of them this thirty-fourth year of my life.
Some of my goals for my thirty-fourth year;
1. lose weight and keep it off
2. find a job I enjoy that will pay my bills
3. learn to play the guitar
4. write more stories, poems, songs
5. continue to learn new form of dance
6. learn at least one new language (I began to learn French, so I'm on my way)
7. take riding lessons and ride more frequently
8. work on a movie set
9. continue learning more about acting and film making
10. move back to L.A.
11. find a way to live in ENGLAND permanently
12. find a way to perform/sing with a band , start up a band where we can perform on a regular basis, gain more confidence in my singing voice
I know, I know it's a lot, but I figure if I aim high I may get more done than I expect. So I'm anticipating good things for my thirty-fourth year and as I'm on this journey with foggy roads ahead, I have no idea of what to expect, but I do know like my favorite band Florence and the Machine has stated that THE DOG DAYS ARE OVER and I'm not going to miss them. Anticipating AMAZING things for my thirty-fourth year!!
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